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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Once there was a man...

Once there was a man that LOVED his new glasses so much, he couldn't quit smiling!

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In other Breaking News - History was made today at Asian Gardens in Waverly Iowa. A nice fellow by the name of Chris Neuendorf ordered a Large Bowl of Soup and Angry Beef. He proceeded to eat it all. Every last drop. That was not the history making event. While he and his small group of friends waited for their check. That is when history was made. For the first time in Chinese restaurant history a man could not make it out of the restaurant before making a dash to the can. While his friends patiently waited for his return so they could go back to work, they received a text message from the history maker. It simply stated, "It Burns".

Comments on "Once there was a man..."


Anonymous Tharp said ... (9:50 AM, March 23, 2005) : 

How can one man's intestines be so short?


Anonymous Flanders said ... (2:48 PM, March 23, 2005) : 


Consider this- If we assume that Mr. Neuendorf's intestines are at the low end of the length of an average adult's, that would put them at 23 feet long. Assuming it took him at least 30 minutes to devour a meal of that great proportion, and give him 15 minutes of wait time for the extremely slow check-out service of that particular restaurant, we come to a time of 45 minutes for the first bite of food to travel the 25 feet (added 2 feet for the esophagus and stomach) and out his rectum.

Now, if something travels 25 feet in 45 minutes, that means it is moving at a screaming speed of .0067 miles per hour (.005 miles / .75 hours). I am no physics major, but 25 feet in less than an hour seems like a pretty major accomplishment for a morsel of food, especially one that is being digested in the process.

Therefore, it is my conclusion that Mr. Neuendorf is a faker and is actually just going and sitting on a toilet playing games on his cell phone so he doesn't have to go back to work right away. Check the math Neuendorf....You're myth has been BUSTED!!!!


Anonymous Flanders said ... (12:33 PM, March 24, 2005) : 

So much for entering an intelligent post...The last sentence might as well say "You are myth has been busted!!!"


Anonymous Wez said ... (5:12 PM, March 24, 2005) : 

Do to your last sentence.. I must discredit your entire post. Nice try though Flanders.


Anonymous flanders said ... (12:44 PM, April 01, 2005) : 



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