Slutlanna

Svetlana Shusterman - Real World Key West - FHM April 06 The Real World: Key West’s hottest housemate has been unleashed “To see a hurricane moving at full speed, with 130 mph winds, was some scary shit,” says Svetlana Shusterman, the new season’s hottest resident and designated fit-thrower. The 20-year-old beauty is not new to challenges, though: She was smuggled stateside at the age of 4 from her native Ukraine and is now a biology major at Philadelphia’s Temple University. Bigger obstacles, though, face the show’s producers in their quest to keep Svetlana covered for TV. “Most of the time, I wear something revealing,” Svetlana says. “My mentality is, it’s better to do it now than when I’m 40 years old and look weird. I have big boobs, and it’s good to show them off.” Fans writing on The Real World blogs have you pegged as “the crazy Russian chick.” You’re Ukrainian, but are you crazy? I’m absolutely out of my mind. I’m far from normal in everything I do—from going to the bathroom to just existing. I’m a big weirdo, and I love that. I’m that girl who is always in a good mood. I’ll run around naked if I have to, or if I want to. If you double-dare me, I have to do it. That’s something my roommates on the show worked out pretty quickly. Give us an example. My life is like a game of truth or dare. If people are bored, they’ll ask me, “Hey, Svet, do you want to eat boiled eggs until you puke?” and I’ll be like, “Why not?” Do you bare your ample bosom on the show? I would not want my boyfriend showing his jewels to some chick, so I wasn’t going to show my titties to my roommates. I think they might have seen them, though. I’m always naked—I’m always naked and want other people to be naked with me. I did walk around my bedroom nude on the show, but not in other areas of the house. There’s no good excuse for walking into a kitchen naked. Are there any good punch-ups in the series? There aren’t any physical fights, because I wasn’t allowed. There were certainly moments when I wanted to rip someone’s head off. If you really piss me off, I don’t take the intelligent route—I’d rather beat the shit out of you. I couldn’t do that, though, because I signed a contract with MTV before filming started. There were times when I was like, “If only I could choke you for 10 minutes, I’d feel so much better.” But, of course, I couldn’t do that. Have you kicked a girl’s ass away from the MTV cameras? Yes. It was 4 a.m. in Montreal on the week of New Year’s Eve. It was freezing cold, and I was waiting for a cab outside. One finally came and, as I was holding the door, three girls ran into the cab and stole it before my friends and I could get in. I started banging on the window—here’s where it becomes the other chick’s fault—and she wound down the window. Big mistake. My fists took over her face. I hit her with everything I had before the cab sped away. My knuckles were left swollen and bloody with teeth marks. I think she got it pretty good, which is what she deserved. Finally, your 34DD breasts. Are they a help or a hindrance? Oh, they’re great. I love to play with my boobs. That’s understandable. What could be better than playing with boobs? I’m so blessed that I have 34DDs because I’m never bored. I don’t know what it’s like to play with balls, but I’d play with them if I had them. The same goes with boobs. How could you not want to touch these boobs? They’re so much fun. Seriously, I love my chest more than guys do. When my guy is touching my boobs, I’m like, “Hey, that’s not fair. I want to touch them too.” I get jealous. FHM

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The world will end soon... On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be: 01:02:03 04/05/06. That won't happen again in this century.