Farewell FlandoMagic

Friday was FlandoMagic's last day of work here ... before moving on to other endeavourers. So Friday after work all of us went down to the best bar in town The Pour House. You can read some about the festivities on both Dorf's & Flando's blog. The 2 things I have to add are these wonderful VoiceMails that were left that night! Flando left me a VM around 11pm (I went home early due to being completely out of commission from Thursday night.) Dorf left a fellow coworker a message around 9:30pm when he went home (due to him trying to join the Century Club) Listen and enjoy the drunkeness.... FlandoMagic VM Dorf VM

They Say Its Your Birthday!!

Jessica Alba

Check out the hottest pic I've ever seen of Jessica Alba! Jessica Alba pic! Damn she's hot...

Mentos + Soda

Remind me not to drink some Root Beer, then eat Mentos.... Mentos

Nice Headlights!

For months now I have been mesmerized every time a commercial for a Mercury Mariner or Montego has come on... and this is the reason why. Jill Wagner. Every time I saw the commercial.. I was always like "who is that chick!?!" Well now I know. I have never paid so much attention to a car commercial in my life. Here are a few caps of the commercial for those of you not familiar with it. Come to find out.. she was on some episodes of Punk'd last year.. she was also in Stuff Magazine. Here are those pics: If anyone is interested in starting a Jill Wagner Fan Club - please contact me (link on right) and we can start working! Now get out of here and go buy a Mercury!!

Worst Movie Ever

No Soup For You!!

If Wounds ever screws me over at lunch again by making me wait for him to get off the phone... then 15mins later telling me he's not going to lunch, he's gonna get it. Fla. Worker Stabbed in Microwave Dispute ps I'm on vacation Monday & Tuesday... so all you people at work can suck it!

Grocery Store Wars

This is worth a look.. pretty creative way to get me to buy more organic foods. Does anyone make sure they buy organic foods when they shop? I always see them, but since they cost more... I usually don't buy them. Maybe now I will!

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy - Episode 4

Due to Wounds incessant complaining... I have moved this video to an off site link. Enjoy! SNL Celebrity Jeopardy - Episode 4 More episodes to come...

The Truth about Taxes

Look at the graph above and think of it this way: less than 4 dollars out of every $100 paid in income taxes in the United States is paid by someone in the bottom 50% of wage earners. Are the top half all these rich millionaires we always hear about? Noooo, more like "thousandaires." The top 50% were those individuals or couples filing jointly who earned $29,019 and up in 2003. (The top 1% earned $295,495-plus.) Here are the wage earners in each category and the percentages they pay: The top 1% pay over a third, 34.27% of all income taxes. The top 5% pay 54.36% of all income taxes. The top 10% pay 65.84%. The top 25% pay 83.88%. The top 50% pay 96.54%. The bottom 50%? They pay a paltry 3.46% of all income taxes. The next time you hear a Democrat in an election talking about how we should not give tax cuts to the rich but should give tax cuts to the poor and middle class - just remember what you have read here. You can not give a tax cut to a person who is already not paying any taxes. Any person making under $29,000 a year is already NOT PAYING ANY TAXES! You can not cut their taxes anymore. The only people who are even able to receive a tax cut are the ones in the top 50% of all wage earners. When tax cuts are proposed, most democrats say they are only tax cuts for the rich. Just remember that these so called rich people.. are the only ones even paying taxes to begin with. .. and I would not call people making over $29,000 a year rich. Just something for you to think about during the next upcoming elections...

Respect My Authority!

Wounds has made a small shrine to me over at his blog. He has made me into a South Park character! Gimme back my cheesy poofs! I'm a little concerned. I think Wounds is obsessed with me... I mean, the man went out of his way to create a South Park character of me. He also stores his chainsaw in my garage. I do know one thing, no matter how Fatal Attraction he goes on me, we will put all of our differences aside and DOMINATE at golf next Friday! Quote of the Day: "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" -George Costanza, Seifeld.

Holy Shit! I got Tagged!

The wonderful Tiffany over at Tiffany's Utopia tagged me. So I guess its my turn to answer some questions. ..... so then..... what questions to answer? Good thing Miss Lipstick Lulu just got tagged twice, so I stole some of her questions. Im so resourceful!! The following are 19 random questions I answered. Yeah that's right, 19. Answering 20 would have made too much sense... 1. Paper or Plastic? Whatever.. just put my shit in a bag and give it to me. 2. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were little (under 10)? Professional Baseball Player 3. What do you want to be when you grow up now? Professional Baseball Player 4. What kind and color of underwear do you have on right now? Dark grey FTL boxer briefs. 5. What CD are you ashamed to admit you own and listen to? I have only bought 3 CDs over the last 4-5 years. I download all my music. Arrest me now! 6. Why did you come to the blog that tagged you? Have you seen Tiff's hair!? = ) 7. Do you watch reality television and why/why not? Laguna Beach & Real World sometimes.. but otherwise no. 8. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck. I fucking use it all the fucking time. Sometimes I get into fucking trouble because I will say it at fucking work. 9. Real or fake boobies? All of the above. 10. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? No. My friends are all funny looking in real life. 11. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? No. In saying that, everyone is welcome to donate to the "Wez Says... Give Me Some Money Bitch!" Fund. 12. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? No & No. I do try and delete all spammer comments, after I go to their site and buy something of course! 13. Do you have a job? Yes. Unfortunately. 14. Do you like John Mayer? No. My favorite 2 artists of all time are Michael Jackson & 2Pac. 15. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? Where do I sign up? 16. Does your family read your blog? Yes, some of them do... as well as the family of some of my fellow blogger friends. Which has been known to get them in trouble. Sorry buddy. 17. How old is your blog? I had to look.. I guess I started on March 18, 2005. This is my 90th post. 18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care? No and I don't care. I do use a counter service, but more to see where people come from to get to my blog and what they search on to find me. Some of that is funny shit. I have posted about that in the past a few times. Yahoo!! , Update 19. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? Not yet. I just looked, I've made $2.88!! I'm rich bitch! I now tag the "Wez Says... Posse". Wounds, Dorf, & FlandoMagic. Get on it fuckers.

Do I want to see this?

The Sun Online: Brit sex tape on the way BRITNEY Spears and Kevin Federline reportedly fear a steamy home video is about to be made public. A member of the singer’s entourage is believed to have copied one of the couple’s personal video tapes – allegedly recorded while Britney was still expecting baby son Sean Preston - and is threatening to release it. A source told America’s US Weekly magazine: "He has threatened to release raunchy footage of the two taken before Spears looked pregnant.” During her pregnancy, Britney confessed her sex life was the best it had ever been. The sexy singer insisted her bedroom romps with husband Kevin had been red hot since she conceived. She confessed at the time: "I think it's the best. Sex is crazy good." Britney also stunned viewers on her reality TV show Chaotic after she was shown begging Kevin for sex. The blonde babe, who was not married to former dancer Kevin when the footage was shot, brands the couple's bedroom antics "so good" before begging her 26-year-old lover to let her take the day off from her Onyx tour last year "to just f*** all day". Quote of the Day: "Who cares, friends just keep you away from TV." -Doug Heffernan, King of Queens.

I want my two dollars! ... or 10 cents...

I was browsing around the US Cellular website for some unknown reason today... and started reading about the Text Alerts they offer. Get info...Fast! With Text Alerts from U.S. Cellular® you can now send text messages to receive news, stock quotes, horoscopes and more—via an instant text response! Just send your text request to “Info” (4636). You don’t have to sign up for anything. All incoming messages are FREE; outbound text messages are only 10¢ each. Then I went through the list of all the different Info they offer.. saw this one. Daily Pick-Up Line Need a little help with a conversation starter? Send the letters “PU” to 4636 (Info) and we will come to the rescue or maybe make you laugh. So I decided to send "PU" to 4636 (Info) and see what I get back. 2 seconds later I got at text msg back and here is the pick up line they sent me.... "Are you hungry? 'Cause I got a half-eaten can of refried beans in my fridge -U.S. Cellular" The only person I can possilbly see this line working on is Dorf. I want my 10 cents back.

How do you know if you've had one too many?

A good way to know if you've had one drink too many is if you in any way resemble Steve-O - as shown here on the Adam Corolla Show. Steve-O Drunk on Adam Corolla Show